I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
