just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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