Already got asked if we're dating
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
