everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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