This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
