please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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