I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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