Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
