Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
