This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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