whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
