Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh god it's open bar.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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