He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
