The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
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