At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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