I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
