oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
