im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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