Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
