bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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