He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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