Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
