I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
