I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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