i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you never un-have a 4some
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
