I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
