Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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