It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
