She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
