Don't you send me to vm
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
