Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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