Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
