Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
