i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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