I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
