Yo dont text me then not text me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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