I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I believe in your delicious
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
