is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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