It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dick very happy bro
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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