there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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