i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
