honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
