we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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