Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
