I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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