So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
