My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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