Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
NoShamevember. You game?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
