Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
