Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
