Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
