I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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