people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
